So - since Wiggins et al and their exploits in the summer of '12, every man out there is getting their Lycra on and hopping on the saddle. Point is though that if you're in Scunthorpe or Skegness, I'm not sure the scenery, roads, traffic etc etc is really worth the hassle....not to mention the weather!
On that point, the UK has recently had all sorts - may be not as bad as the east cost of the US (hurricane, snow etc etc all before the second weekend of November), but still massively cold, dark and generally miserable.
In contrast, our journey on Saturday, 10 November 2012, was in somewhat better conditions:
Not bad eh? Possibly the most iconic volcano in the world was our destination of choice - for three middle aged men in lycra - me, Simon Roue, him, Paul Bottrill, and him, Simon Blackett. Simon (me) and Paul hailing from the UK, and Simon (him) being Australian (otherwise he's a top bloke)
Obviously the mountain was much further away when we started....in Shibuya, Tokyo, at 4.30am in the morning. Problem we had as soon as we started was that our respective wives - Naz, Pam and Anna were somewhat dubious as to whether we were actually cycling all the way to Fujisan or just making an early start in the boozer (although even for us I think 430am is early - or late in Roppongi depending on your point of view).
So....we asked the policeman at our starting point - the Yoyogi Koen Koban (police box in Japanese) to take a picture - allowing me to use my burgeoning Japanese skills (I wish - I still feel somewhat embarrassed in every Japanese lesson I have)...
Me on the left (we'll come to my outfit later), Simon B in the middle and Paul B on the right. So there's your proof - if we were heading to Roppongi we'd have had a right old time dressed like this...!
So from Shibuya the route headed out to the Tama River to the west of Tokyo which is our usual route we take out to the hills of a Saturday. As the photo of Fuji at the top shows, the weather was great - a little cold but absolutely perfect for the task in hand - to cycle to the Fifth Station of Mount Fuji (2305m) and then back down to Hakone (a suicidal route but again I'll come back to this point a bit later!)
Once we were on the river it was a pretty decent trundle - although cycling in the full dark with pedestrians looming out of the dark was somewhat disconcerting. I stuck resolutely to the back at this point so I could follow Paul's backlight - it was somewhat hypnotic...Simon B stayed at the front and had to deal with the flashing strobe effect of his light lighting people up like an old movie - jerking around from one flash of the light to the next! We reached the 'Tama Toilets' in good order...and so began the long odyssey that is Paul's peeing.
It's a funny thing you know, needing a pee whilst cycling. At the pro level tours, they tend to slow the peleton and everyone pees en masse at the side of the road in front of the TV cameras and everything...theres' no place for any stage fright there...! Paul just took a 'lot and often' approach. He didn't seem to be drinking overmuch...but maybe it's the saddle or something but it was going to be a feature of the day....
Back on the saddle and we headed further down the Tama in the dawn....to our first sighting of Fuji from a long way out (this is roughly 65kms from the mountain) -
Now - I know this isn't exactly high art....that's an iPhone for you...but Fuji is there! It's just above the white building...yes I needed a Nikon with tripod etc...but with that to cycle up, lack of weight was paramount (given I carry a fair amount under my skin..!) So anyway - apologies for a pretty rubbish shot, but for the record this was the first glimpse!
From Tama down and down until we did our first climb of the day - our usual Mount Takao...but before that we had our first documented (and second actual) pee from Paul -
This is our regular water fill up point...we were there in 2 hours on the day, about 20 mins longer than usual - but we were paying homage to what was to come and taking our time (added to which I was official photographer so was trying to stop pretty regularly...!)
Anyway - on with the story....
Takao is a holy place at the start of the hills with loads of Shinto shrines...and a cable car for people (who are not Mamiling) to get up there. We go straight up the main road, and the view the other side is pretty worth the cycle. It's not a bad hill and gets the blood flowing nicely (which was welcomed as we'd all been feeling the cold up until that point I think!)
Pretty neat use of the foreground tree eh? Actually that was by accident...but for an iPhone (and yes - that's Fujisan again) I was pretty pleased with this snap - light was very good at that time in the morning.
Down from there and it was breakfast next - at every Japan cyclists favourite...the Seven Eleven! I started as I meant to go on - with some greasy chicken! Lovely lovely lovely...(I had had two pieces of toast with honey before leaving home - at around 4am, so I think this sort of technically was a sort of lunch so I don't think it was that bad!)
This break gave Paul the chance to rearrange his clobber. Paul is a top cyclist (VERY good posture vs my hunched slouching over the bars), but he does have an equipment deficit. I will get my retaliation in early...but it's all very well having MAVIC gear because the 'M' looks like the Morrisons trademark, but once it's older than about 20 years, you really do have to retire it. Anyway. Paul was sporting cycling shorts plus leg warmers. Problem with the leg warmers was that the elastic had really seen its best days....so at every opportunity, Paul would roll up his shorts (to levels that would have made my grandma blush) in order to hoik up his warmers to avoid them being 1980s style fame leg warmers by the top of the next hill. The shot of him doing it was quite something....Paul himself reckoned 'he looked like some kind of mollusc' and I can see what he means.....
(and no - Paul was on a push bike and not that dodgy scooter you can see...although he was lusting after the hand warmers on it given he was only in fingerless cycling gloves!)
...so intermission...this is Sunday - the day of the 'big adventure' and we've just had to get the kids into bed and have dinner. But there are a few reasons why I think we did what we did that it's worth mentioning now...
First is what I like to think of 'validation'. There's something fabulous about coming in from cycling a huge distance. Let's face it - if you have a few on a Friday night and then start drinking on Saturday (even lunchtime?) if you're me you have a slight twang of guilt. If you've cycled 195kms (as it turned out we did) you're going to be more than happy to be properly stuck in on the booze front from basically the point you stop to the point you might lose your job.
Second is kids! They were great - just so everyone knows....the team sported eight kids. We have two (William, 8, Annabel 6,) Simon has three (Harry, 11, Ollie, 9, Charlotte, 7) and Paul has three (Freddie, 11, Charlie, 8, Rosa 6). Doing trips like this and involving the kids is a great experience for them - in an extraordinary culture
Third is heart attacks - and prevention thereof.
Fourth is what Simon said of Edmund Hillary's comment on Everest...'because it's there' - this trip will definitely be one of those things to bore the grandchildren with in due course...and to have the ability to do it straight from Tokyo really is something.
I'm sure there are other reasons why, but the other side of it is the 'how'....and that can be summed up pretty simply -
The wives.
They have been heroic on this trip. You'll find out more later, but Naz, Pam and Anna did a stupendous job of keeping our trip on the road. It's all very well me yapping on about kids and mountains and views as to why we did it...but without them to sort out the practicalities (and egg sandwiches) we'd have been stuffed...so thank you to all three of you. And obviously an extra special hardcore thank you to the only love of my life, Naz.
Wipe your eyes for goodness' sake.
Back to the story...in a more sober mood.
So breakfast was done, and off we toddled again...coming out of the Seven Eleven parking lot next to a 1980s Ferrari Testarossa! Second time we've encountered comedy cars at that Seven Eleven - last time it was some comedy Lambo. Up the hill we went until we got to the bridge over Sagami-ko (that's 'lake' in Japanese) which took us on towards the Doshi Road. The cycle to the Doshi road (otherwise known as route 413...I don't even know if it's called the Doshi road to be honest) was pretty spectacular...
and started with our de rigeur stop at the trust vegetable stall - by 'trust' I mean that the locals put out their locally grown enormous vegetables (matron) with a price on them - and then you just stick your cash in the tin and make off with said veg.
Paul was deeply impressed by these two chinese cabbages....and managed to confuse utterly the old man who came over to see what three bizarrely dressed gaijin were doing with the veg.
I think he tumbled to the fact that the veg were being used more as a prop for a photo than being bought when he realised we were there on pretty lightweight bikes - and had no carrying equipment...although judging by the size of them both (along with the rest of the specimens) we'd have needed a trolley for efficient carriage!
Of course, we could have used Simon's backpack.....
Now is as good a time to address that little issue. It seems that there is some disagreement as to the applicability of rucksacks on serious cyclists. But the bottom line is that it's definitely a yellow card, and potentially even red. ESPECIALLY when you have a coat of this nature that appears out of it....
This bar is a whole other story (check out the size of that kettle!) which I will get to...
Simon did a good job of keeping his bag out of photo-shot...but I did find this one...happily whilst he was joining Paul on the most important business of the day - having a pee...!
Still - it all came good for Simon at the top of Fuji...although frankly an 80 litre rucksack full of arctic gear wouldn't have helped us that much on the way down....
So we got to the Doshi road and then meandered our way up the steady climb to Doshi and on to Yamanaka-ko which is at the foot of Fujisan. On the way we had a well earned break at Doshi and a farmer's market cum fast food stall mecca cum dodgy coffee shop. We obviously chose the dodgy coffee shop for our break and onigiri (rice balls)...but some of the stuff (including MASSIVE diakon) was pretty amazing to see....but none was better than the fish on stick barbeque.....
Coming out of the Doshi stop past the fifty or so motorcycles parked up, we started what proved to be 10kms of solid climbing....not what we were expecting...I think it's both a disadvantage and positive point about planning these trips with google maps. You just can't really see the terrain so we never knew quite how steep any of it was....not sure we'd have left Tokyo otherwise.
Coming over the top we found the extraordinary 'Cafe Gout Temps' which seemed to be a bizarre anglophile's wet dream in the middle of nowhere. Only in Japan....
from there we cruised down the hill to the lake and stopped for some obligatory photos of Fujisan across the water (see photo 1) and we even managed some artistic numbers -
From Yamanakako we headed down to get to the climb proper, heading to the 701 to take us to the Subaru line toll booths...but before that there was chance for a final fill up at Lawsons...
This was lunch I suppose but whatever else, we were all pretty ready for some grub. Paul was beginning to look a little peaky so he proceeded to have a pee (obviously) and then consume a week's worth of caffein in the space of five minutes. It probably wasn't that bad - but a red coke and can of coffee and dodgy cake sat on the pavement seemed to do the trick and he looked remarkably more perky afterwards! Not sure the energy 'jelly' selection was such a good idea - when he ate that I think he almost retched...I tried some and I can see why. Jelly energy drinks are one thing - but jelly energy drinks with bits in are just unnecessary...
Simon and I fuelled up - I had my customary chicken balls (x8 this time!!) and off we went with said balls repeating merrily on me...or at least we would have done had Paul not suddenly decided as we pedalled out of the car park that a 'number 2' was in order...cue more waiting about...Still he seemed very satisfied indeed on his re-appearance.
So started the foot of Fuji. around 6-8% and we had this for quite some time (to say the least). It was pretty uneventful to start with until Paul decided he was really rather hot in his cagoule. So he stopped. Where he was. Which was right in the middle of the road.
Then he put his bike down, and carefully set out his cagoule for rolling. Right in the middle of the road. I just don't think the concept of 'cars' really entered the equation - until one turned up. But they were so gobsmacked (mad gaijin in road - must have looked like he was a muslim at prayer from behind) and in this age of religious tolerance, you just don't want to say anything do you? So off we set again.....
Toll was a funny business. JPY200 each but you got a ticket with a little picture of Fuji on it. lovely....and then started the climb....
Sadly Paul was a beaten man for this bit - through no fault of his own really. He's been carrying a pretty bad back for a while and with 130kms already done, a 23.3km climb was going to be a tough one. He very kindly agreed to wait for us at the bottom - and both Simon and I were hugely grateful to him. The rule is you stick together as a group when you're out and about, and the form thing would have been for us to turn around en masse - so it's hugely to Paul's credit that he insisted we continue....sitting around for 2.5 hours waiting for us to get back was no one's idea of fun. So Paul - thank you. But at least you avoided the frost bite you would have got in your fingerless gloves!!
So Simon and I plodded off up the hill. On and on. To give you a sense...it's 23.3kms straight up with a constant gradient which averages around 6%. The thing is though to do 23.3kms after 130kms for us, it was a 2 hour job. So just 2 hours churning round and round and round.
The other problem is that there are marker posts every 100 metres! Yes - that often...so it's hard to do the trick of 'not looking' to try and get through some of the distance. The hardest bit was between 20 and 15 kms to go...been going long enough to know completing it was going to be hard, but not long enough to mean that turning round has ceased to be an option!
We both just stuck it out - and didn't stop. I think stopping would have been terrible. Up and out of the saddle from time to time so my arse didn't hurt quite so much, but otherwise, it was first gear and round and round and round and round....
Total time to the top - 2 hours. 2,305m above sea level. And the views were spectacular...
So from there it was time to get back down. The presented a problem....I was soaked having been sweating like a beast all the way up. Wet clothes and cold winds are not a great combination...and this is where my 'all the gear' approach came into its own! (And Simon had his rucksack of course!)
I admit it - I live up the stereotype of investment banker who does cycling....all the gear, no idea and just make sure you look the business. I can't help it (well I guess I could) if I end up in head to toe Castelli, the natty Italian cycling brand with the scorpion logo (or lobster depending on your point of view I suppose)....so I do admit I was looking a little bit overly coordinated. But ha! I had the magic jacket on - it goes from a sleeveless gillet with big air vents right up to warm winter coat with full arms and foil inserts for added heat retention - and a warm under-helmet hood! The fact that it took me about 15 minutes to get prepared wasn't the point - and by the time we were done, everyone was too busy looking at Simon's horrific 1980s waterproof to worry about me. The same can be said for my bike on this trip in some ways....it was definitely looking the best up until last weekend, when I had what can only be described as a component failure - my very expensive carbon clincher front wheel failed! Less than 2 years old!! Disgraceful. So for this journey I was sporting a new set of wheels - from MAVIC. They're some new jonnies with very good braking...but there's a problem when they're knew - they wail and screech horrifically - and I mean REALLY loud screeching. All a bit rude frankly. So whilst I'd managed to sort out my bottom bracket noise problem (which made the bike sound like it was permanently cycling over an empty crisp packet), I had inherited a new one in the form of the wheels....So I am still endeavouring not to be the annoying bloke on the trip who can't keep his machine quiet. Anyway - the good braking performance of the wheels - irrespective of the racket being created - was going to be important on the next bit -
Down we came - fast. And very VERY cold. I did start considering the implications of major frost bite as we hurtled down the mountain (65kmh in places) but at that stage it was getting dark so it was time to get a move on. At the top we'd crossed the rubicon of asking Naz and Anna to come and meet us at Yamanakako rather than trying to cycle up to Hakone (a VERY wise move) so we were again on a mission.
We got down ok, had a quick change out (to my 'all the gear' point, I changed my sunglass lenses from the polarized daytime to light enhancement mode - and no they're not infrared (but I'd be in the market for those if they're available)) and off we headed to catch up with Paul - who'd done best part of an hour back in the Lawson!
Rather than stop - I think both Simon and I would have had seizure issues had we done so - we pressed on to the meeting place...which Anna and Naz duly arrived at after battling through horrific traffic coming down out of Hakone. A great double act effort - Anna map reading and Naz driving, with Pam maybe drawing the shortest straw and dealing with eight children back at the hotel!
Now, the meeting place was an Eneos garage and we weren't hanging about there....so we found the most extraordinary bar/shop down the road - ref the picture of Simon's terrible waterproof above. It was top draw. With its massive kettle (being boiled for some unspecified purpose - it just boiled away and the old chap came and topped it up) and plastic chairs. But they had great bottled beer which we got stuck into straight up! The family of Japanese people having their dinner were clearly terrified by the whole thing and didn't hang about finishing up and legging it - so we had the place to ourselves and were able to warm up a bit....with me ending with the socks, overshoes and cycling shoes all drying out by the fire! forty five minutes later the girls arrived, and we headed to the warmth of the car to get back to the hotel....after I'd struggled (on my own I might add with no help from Simon or Paul!!!) to get the bikes on the roof!
And so ended our epic, epic cycle journey of Saturday 10 November. The total trip was 195kms, with 3,362m of vertical - so not a bad effort I reckon!
Just goes for me to thank Paul and Simon for being great company - humour, banter but bloody good cycling in equal measure. And Paul's peeing will always make me smile. We're getting him a bike-mounted colostomy bag for his birthday....
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